I want to make more money

A friend sent me a post recently which really got me spinning. Titled "Alcohol use helps boost income", it was quite an eye opener. My first thought was, Holy Shit, I should be making way more money than I am. But then I had a second thought, that I'd be making even less than I am if not for my prodigious intake. I would've had a third thought, but that was one too many and I decided I needed another drink more than another thought.