Wait'll next year!
Monday, October 24, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
SOS - Save Our Season
Dear God, Yaweh, Allah, or Agnostic Deity of Last Choice,
Please save our season. I promise I'll go to church. Synagog. Pray on the Mat. Pretend I don't care if you exist. Whatever!
Please make Joe Pa have an aneurysm in the first quarter. But then make him all better after we win, I am not mean-spirited that way.
Please make their goofy QB rotation scheme work in favor of our leaky secondary. Make Matt McGloin throw like Rex Grossman - right into the hands of the CBs.
Please make some doofus season ticket holders actually show up in their seats - in purple.
Please make Zach remember that passing out drunk on the CTA is not a recipe for a long safe life. And that if someone is knifing him, I'm not helping I'm moving to the next car like the sign says.
Thank you already for taking care of that little SOB Moye. We appreciate you taking out their only true receiving threat for us. Was that little gem left-over good will from when I last went to church 17 years ago?
Lastly, please shine those rays from the Ark of the Covenant onto Dan our QB. Give him the power to lead your armies to a crushing victory over the forces of darkness.
Oh, and that stupid f-cking Nittany lion thing. Everyone knows there are no lions in Pennsylvania, and there is no such place as Happy Valley. So if you could....say...tsunami all of that right out of existence, I'd much appreciate it. Nobody really needs Pennsylvania anyway.
Please save our season. I promise I'll go to church. Synagog. Pray on the Mat. Pretend I don't care if you exist. Whatever!
Please make Joe Pa have an aneurysm in the first quarter. But then make him all better after we win, I am not mean-spirited that way.
Please make their goofy QB rotation scheme work in favor of our leaky secondary. Make Matt McGloin throw like Rex Grossman - right into the hands of the CBs.
Please make some doofus season ticket holders actually show up in their seats - in purple.
Please make Zach remember that passing out drunk on the CTA is not a recipe for a long safe life. And that if someone is knifing him, I'm not helping I'm moving to the next car like the sign says.
Thank you already for taking care of that little SOB Moye. We appreciate you taking out their only true receiving threat for us. Was that little gem left-over good will from when I last went to church 17 years ago?
Lastly, please shine those rays from the Ark of the Covenant onto Dan our QB. Give him the power to lead your armies to a crushing victory over the forces of darkness.
Oh, and that stupid f-cking Nittany lion thing. Everyone knows there are no lions in Pennsylvania, and there is no such place as Happy Valley. So if you could....say...tsunami all of that right out of existence, I'd much appreciate it. Nobody really needs Pennsylvania anyway.
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