Game On!

The Wildcats kicked off the season by smashing the Syracuse Orange(men) 30-10.

Grades and highlights of the day.

Tailgate: A-.

Sunny and about 85, the weather was perfect and we were well-stocked for our party in the West lot.

Punting: A.

Stefan Demos was unbelievable in the first half.

Offense: C+.

The offense looked off-kilter in the first half but picked up the pace in the second half. Despite almost 500 yards of offense, only 30 points (9 by the defense) resulted. The much-ballyhoo'd hurry-up did not show any signs of controlling the tempo of the game. Positive signs were Tyrell Sutton's performance running and catching, and Andrew Brewer's 6 catches.

Defense: B-.

A sack, a safety, and a TD on an interception return were signs that last year's bottom-feeding defense might be improved. On the other hand, this was Syracuse, so the jury's out till next week. Most startling sign: on the TV replay Sunday, I saw one pass play where the defensive back was in front of the receiver. I am confident that situation has not been seen at Dyche Stadium in many years.

Comic relief: C.

We forgot the Knob Creek and thus were not treated to any vomitous extrusions upon Mother Earth by the Fish Head's brother. But we did see some amusing sun burn patterns upon our lily white office worker skins. And, we got to watch my brother double-clutch while smoking a stogie, whereby he burned his nipple and flipped his $20 cuban puro into his beer cup.

Surprise of the Day: A.

We bumped into Shon Morris outside the stadium before the game. I almost fainted when I got to shake his hand.

Anger Management: B+.

I only punched the wall twice on Sunday when I saw Andy, the old guy who tailgated next to us, get featured on ESPN2's pre-game show. ESPN you suck for not showing MY tailgate. Don't ever stiff us again, or else.

Its single malt whisky, not Scotch

Yamazaki is distilled in Japan and thus cannot be called Scotch. But its really pretty good anyway!

Femto what?

Today I installed a femtocell in my house. Yes, my humble abode is now officially a mini-tower on Sprint's cell network, courtesy of a $99 Airave.

Now based on my previous diatribe, you might be wondering why the hell I would do this. And of course I did it for no reason other than its an very odd but interesting gizmo, and I am the only kid on the block who has one, nyeah nyeah nyeah.

The Airave is a small white unit, roughly the size of a standard residential wireless router, but with a vertical orientation, with a single stubby antenna. It has 4 LEDs on the front, to indicate power, system, GPS, and WAN status. Yes, it has an internal GPS which the documentation states is needed to provide 911 services; the blogosphere states the GPS is truly present to prevent usage of the unit outside the USA.

The Airave has an RJ45 jack, and is attached to your broadband router via an ethernet patch cable (supplied). The initial power-up is documented to require up to an hour, but in my case I surrendered after 90 minutes. The GPS indicator had stayed red (blue indicates active), so I powered the unit off and connected the "optional" GPS antenna, which is a standard puck style unit. After connecting the GPS antenna, the subsequent power cycle took about 15 minutes for the unit to fully activate.

After activation, your cell phones connect to the Airave instead of directly to the Sprint network, and the Airave routes the calls thru your broadband connection to....somewhere. My understanding of the network topology is vague, but a decent diagram can be found here.

In the 2 hours (lol) that I have been using the unit, I have found that it dramatically improves cell reception inside my house. My Sprint service has been close to unusable inside the house, whereas now my family's Sprint phones routinely have 4 or 5 bars in all areas of the house, and the voice quality is very good.

I do have some remaining questions. First, the antenna does not seem removable. I wonder if this is hackable to install a larger and more powerful antenna, thus further increasing the reception and range of the unit. Second, there is no built-in security for this unit. Any Sprint phone in range can connect in via the Airave, and thus your neighbors can get a free ride on your Sprint minutes. While the allowed phone numbers can apparently be controlled by calling Sprint's service center, this seems like a poor solution. Lastly, my Blackberry is provided by a corporate program and is not part of my Sprint plan, and I wonder how the minutes usage is counted, exactly.

In summary, the unit seems to perform its function well, and my original diatribe about the financial nonsense-icalness of the unit is balanced by the fact that it actually works.

Good news, bad news

Take a look at the Congrove 120 rankings.

Bad news? Wildcats are ranked 73rd out of 120 teams.

Good news? The Cats first 4 opponents are pitiful. Syracuse is #116, Duke is #114, SIU does not even make the list (FCS) and Ohio is the powerhouse of the 4 at #75.

Here's to the Cats starting strong and running the non-conference table.

Syracuse seems like a fine University. But...Otto the Orange? On August 30 Willy the Wildcat is going to squish this guy and we can use the juice to make a screwdriver at the tailgate!

Gogo a Nogo

American Airlines just announced inflight Internet access for $12.95 per flight. Yes, I'd buy this except for two reasons: One, I already spent all my cash on peanuts, a pillow and blanket, and a coke. Two, for some spastic reason, AA will be blocking Skype calls. WTF?

Everything you need to know about Scotch

Unless you are satisfied with simply pouring it down your throat (which I am doing as I type this), you could click here for the 5-minute lesson on Scotch.

I am outside on my deck because...

Its three A.M. Emergency at work. Need to make a call on my Blackberry. So I have to go out on my deck in the backyard, in the dark, where I could be eaten by a bear. Why am I doing this? Because I have crappy Sprint cell service, and I don't get any damn reception inside my house.

Now you might think that Sprint could I dunno, maybe add a cell tower or two? After all, I am not living in the uninhabited desert (hey no bears there tho), I am surrounded by 7 million inhabitants in the Chicago metro area. Yea, I don't like all 7 million of those people, but still you would think Mr. Sprint could spring for some more towers.

Instead, they are going to coerce me into buying an Airave. As best I can decipher, this $100 gizmo turns your house into a mini-cell tower, intercepts your cell phone signal, and routes it VOIP over your broadband connection.

Huh?

Let's do the math here. At an earlier time in my life, I decided to purchase Sprint phones and service. Maybe I was drunk at the time (see scotch entries on this blog), but I think I made that purchase with the intent to make phone calls. And when I purchase things, I expect them to work, yes I am crazy that way.

And Sprint does work. It just expects you to move yourself to a location where the phone works. Its called a mobile phone, and Sprint figures you should mobilize yourself to a spot where it works. Get it? Got it.

So its my math versus theirs. They could add a couple cell towers, which informed sources tell me might cost roughly $250K per. Or, I pay them $100 to turn my house into a mini-cell tower. Get it? Instead of them spending $500K to make their network do what they already claim it does, they get me to GIVE THEM $100 to make their network work. Are you sensing the sick evil genius at work here? Not yet? Let's keep going.

After I pay them the $100 to make their network work, I get to pay them an additional $30 per month to make calls over the now-working network. That's not $30 for cell service, its $30 per month OVER AND ABOVE the cell service you already pay for.

Still not sensing the evil genius? Let's keep going. The cell calls you make over the mini-tower you paid $100 for along with the $30 per month usage charge, DON'T EVEN TRAVERSE THE CELL NETWORK. Yep, they get routed over your broadband connection! Yes, that broadband connection which you paid Comcast $45 per month for.

So....I am guessing you now see the evil genius at work in Sprint's plan. Their service blows, so you pay them $100 upfront and $30 per month to make it work, and then it works only because you already paid Comcast $45 per month.

Why would anyone purchase this insane solution? Since the calls get routed by VOIP anyway, how about you get a Skype account for $30 per year, buy a cheap Skype phone for $50, and call it a day?

Comcast sucks less....

Now that they are doing this. Let's be honest. Everyone hates the cable company, but its all right to hate them a little less when you are watching your favorite team in hi-def after being deprived of the right for years (it has been years, hasn't it?).

Saved by the Shon!

Typhoon? Hurricane? Tsunami? Krakatoa? Yes, those were all major catastrophes but what the Fish Head is speaking of in this entry was the event that put the cat-astro in catastrophe.

Yes, an administrative snafu caused me to lose my parking pass for the West Lot at Dyche Stadium! Oh, the horror of it all. No more tailgating in the vast sea of tailgates. No more wacky balloon boy with the hot mom. No more brother gulping Knob Creek while he cooks the breakfast sandwiches before he drinks more Knob Creek and hurls. Yes, the Fish Head was going to be relegated to the proverbial dust heap of tailgating, also known as the Fish Center (no relation).

Worst of all, the snafu was actually caused by the gross negligence of...the Fish Head himself. A catastrophe is a catastrophe but its magnified to an insane disaster when you can't even blame it on some faceless bureaucrat!

And now on to the hero of the story. Yes, the Fish Head was rescued by Shon Morris. Yes, that Shon Morris (NU '88), four-year letterman, holder of countless collegiate scoring records, WGN radio star, ESPN TV anchor, and lastly apparently a smarter guy than most Big Ten athletes as he not only graduated but won all sorts of academic awards!

Despite being a life-long republican, the Fish Head confesses to a secret and somewhat embarrassing affection for Obama. But as of today, the Fish Head says Out with Obama and In with Shon. Should the Fish Head get the future opportunity to sperminate some eggs and spawn some fry, they shall all be named Shon.

Scapa

This was quite simply not a good scotch, no matter what any reviewer says. Not to be crass, but it could be re-named to Crapa. Even The Scotch Blog was mildly favorable which is baffling.

Next up for the Fish Head is an oddity, Suntory Yamazaki which cannot technically be called Scotch....

Dogs versus Cats in the national title game?