I ate what??

<- I ate one of these. It was disguised as sushi - oh yes, look at that beastie and you can guess at the epic cleverness of said disguise. Whatever you do, don't look at this picture....

Spring time in Chicago

Thank god the dreary winter is over, Spring is sprung and the weather is getting warmer.

The picture to the left was taken on March 29. As best I can tell, that ice shelf in Antartica which broke off has floated up the Chicago River and down the Des Plaines and stopped right outside my door.

March Madness...

is nothing more than a signal that the long darkness is ending and the football season is right around the corner. Northwestern's spring practice season ends April 25 with the traditional Spring Game at Noon. We'll be there in our finest purple tailgating in the West Lot.

Just in time for Easter, The Holy Trinity

You can't make things like this up

Actual sign on a swimming beach in Hong Kong. Perhaps inconvenienced is a synonym for eaten?

Post-Super Bowl Party

Pre-Super Bowl Party

Guest dead soldier

Submitted by Sean "Northern Pike" Magoo. My guess would be he drank this Talisker to an early death after sending his Laphroaig to Gitmo for incarceration.

bourbon

I have always considered bourbon drinkers to be an odd lot. Sort of like they got lost on their way to find the scotch and bumped across a lesser drink, and swilled it down in impatience.

But the Fish Head received for his birthday a nice looking bottle from one of his fellow spawn, and shockingly, realized it was bourbon.

Now one might ask, why would fellow spawn brother gift the Fish Head a bottle of bourbon? Thoughtlessness? Hoping for a re-gifting?

No, because spawn brother was wandering about in the backwoods of Kentucky, and stumbled into the actual distillery where the pictured booze is brewed. Now let's not ask ourselves what said brother was doing in the backwoods of Kentucky, as we all know the sorts of things that go on there.

Being of magnanimous spirit, Fish Head set aside his scotch, grabbed a fresh glass, and steeled himself to make good of the questionable gift. Following his normal scotch habits, two fins over rocks it was. And amazingly...its pretty damn good!

Now you might notice that a full report is not possible, given that the bottle is still almost full (Fish Head has small fins!). So look for a further update when the Woodford achieves dead soldier status.

San Antonio

Great place. 'Nuff said.

Alamo Bowl

Its taken a few days to finish swallowing the bile before I could type a post about the 2008 Alamo Bowl.

The Cats came into the game 2-TD underdogs, with virtually no-0ne giving them a chance to win. And in the end, everyone was right as the Cats fell 30-23 in overtime.

Despite the loss, it was a terrific game, with flashy TD passes galore, a punt return for TD, and numerous stellar defensive plays.

The Cats gave themselves every opportunity to win, especially with the sparkling defensive effort, which put Mizzou's high-octane offense into a deep freezer. But in the end, a few plays where the Cats failed to take advantage, cost them the game. A missed PAT. Failure to pick up a third-and-three on the last drive in regulation. A missed assigment on the O-line in OT that led to a huge sack.

An exciting but disappointing ending to the 2008 season.

Round ball

Historically the Fish Head is not much of a basketball fan, but the post-football doldrums seem to have grown in intensity over the years.

So this year, the Fish head has strived to enjoy some college hoops. Aided by the generosity of other parties coughing up free tickets (thanks Pat!) the Fish Head has managed to see one game for each of his affiliated schools - UIC, DePaul, and Northwestern.

Unfortunately, all three games were embarrassing losses but were enjoyable nonetheless.

Highlights from the three outings:

• Enjoying the surprisingly nice UIC Pavilion with my nieces and nephews - the Dragon Den being an added bonus.
• Having the entire upper deck to myself at the Allstate Arena; apparently DePaul vs. Morgan State was not a big draw with attendance at about 2,500.
• Beers at UBAA before the NU vs. MSU game.

Notice the Fish Head did not discuss the actual games. Because....maybe its an acquired taste, but basketball is boring. But just like Schlitz, the Fish Head is going to keep pouring down the basketball until he acquires the taste!

Xmas Dinner was...

Turducken. Or, as the Fish Head's oldest daughter called it, Turdunken. While this may sound like a weird, cajun hillbilly food, its actually quite tasty except for the nasty sausage stuffing!

Annual Book

Once a year, never more nor less, the Fish Head reads a book. Today the Fish Head finished his 2008 selection, "A History of Scotland". And yes, if you saw Braveheart, William Wallace (and his compatriot, Andrew of Moray) merit a few pages during the description of the Wars of Independence.

Overall, this was an excellent book if somewhat dense and turgid. The ancient history of the Picts, the inter-twining of Scotland, Norway, Ireland, and England, all make for fascinating reading.

Why read a book about Scotland? Because scotch is made there!

Dead Soldier Reports

I haven't posted one for awhile, but pictures of the most recent "dead soldier" are a favorite of the Fish Head. In the spirit of equality, my buddy Mike "I have a crazy basement" Carp emailed me a copy of his most recent dead soldier.

Apparently the Carp liked the Balvenie as much as the Fish Head did.

Hello Mr. Bush

Dear Lame Duck President Mr. Bush,

It has come to our attention that it is an absolute certainty that WMDs can be found at the location below. This has been agreed to by the CIA, the NSA, the NIE, the intelligence agencies of all of the G7, and most importantly, Mickey Mouse and Boris Badinov; Condi has the powerpoint.

To help you with some simpleton strategy (we understand you excel at that variety), it is a hop skip and a jump from Whiteman to this location. Could you please vector in a couple B2's with appropriate payload to rid us of this menace?

X marks the spot

Signed,

The Citizens of Illinois

River walking

The Selection Committee met at Tracy's, drank some beer, and decided the Wildcats should go to the Alamo Bowl. Air tickets are bought, game tickets are ordered, and hotel rooms are reserved. All that remains is to get stinking drunk and make Mizzou fans look classy by comparison.

Go Cats!

BCS Bowl Selection Meeting

The BCS Bowl Selection Review Committee will be meeting here at 4PM CST today.

Football snob

I admit it, I am a college football snob. Pro sports? Screw those whiny rich guys. College soccer, golf, lacrosse, baseball? Boredom central.

However, I have come to the conclusion that my life can no longer consist of four months of joy, followed by 8 months of benighted, hidey-hole nothingness.

So I have resolved to follow (as best I can stomach it) another college sport, so I have been keeping at least one cloudy fish eye on basketball. And lo and behold, said cloudy eye watched a gem off the DVR Saturday, as Northwestern annihilated DePaul. The Fish Head felt bad seeing alma mater A cream alma mater B so badly, but then realized the beauty of the situation, as a pasting like that enables the Fish Head to endlessly taunt his DePaul alumni brothers.

Surprisingly, while reading the recap of the game, the Fish Head discovered that Northwestern's perennial patsy bball team is, well, maybe not a total patsy this year. In fact, the Cats roundball team is off to a great start and is highly ranked according to the RPI index.

Bad idea

History presents us with many examples of bad ideas. Sometimes ideas are simply stupid and poorly thought out, others are presented at the wrong time, and some ideas are so certain to enrage and offend the public trust that they are best buried in a deep dark vault and never, ever spoken of.

The latter category most certainly includes the moronic trial balloon floated by Dick Durbin, senior senator from Illinois. The esteemed Mr. Durbin has stated that he is considering asking lame duck President Bush to offer clemency to George Ryan, based on a heartfelt appeal from Ryan's wife.

You may remember George Ryan. Yes, the George Ryan whose corrupt administration of the Illinois Secretary of State office directly resulted in the deaths of six innocent children. Yes, the George Ryan who routinely steered state business to his cronies. Yes, the George Ryan who used his political campaign funds to illegally enrich himself and his family. Yes, the George Ryan who is a convicted felon, liar, and unrepentant criminal.

Don't even think it, Dick. We the people just elected Obama because we are sick of politicians who are stupid, corrupt, and ineffective. If you push to free Ryan, you will convince the public that you are all of those things too.