Dear Lame Duck President Mr. Bush,
It has come to our attention that it is an absolute certainty that WMDs can be found at the location below. This has been agreed to by the CIA, the NSA, the NIE, the intelligence agencies of all of the G7, and most importantly, Mickey Mouse and Boris Badinov; Condi has the powerpoint.
To help you with some simpleton strategy (we understand you excel at that variety), it is a hop skip and a jump from Whiteman to this location. Could you please vector in a couple B2's with appropriate payload to rid us of this menace?
X marks the spot
Signed,
The Citizens of Illinois
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