Observations from Week 1

I’m missing the in-person action due to health issues, but that doesn’t prevent me from commenting on action around the conference after week 1.

• Illinois snuck by the Kent State Molten Flashes. The only highlight of the game was the TV shots of Illini fans wearing Lovie Smith merkins on their faces.
• The Fighting Terps trashed Texas again. Maybe the Texas AD needs to pick tastier cupcakes.
• Go M Blue. Like, just go away and take Super Khaki Pants with you, and please do not wreck our bowl results again this year.
• MSU survived Utah State. Name one American who can find Utah on a map.
• The Buckeyes won. Who cares, we all still hate the Bucknuts. At least their coaches are not pedophiles.
• Speaking of pedo guys, Penn State snuck by Appalachian State, renowned giant killers whose sterling history is tarnished by recent Michigan performances. Look for a long and unhappy season in Happy Valley.
• Rutgers - seriously they are not in the Big Ten are they? We all know Texas is a State but who the hell is Texas State?
• Iowa beat hell out of NIU. Oh how far the Huskies have fallen.
• Scott Frost started the season with a bang at Nebraska, too bad it was the banging of thunder that caused the game to be cancelled. Josh Heupel had better results for the week.
• GO CATS as they took down Purdue. Must have been a great Fitz speech in the locker room at halftime as the Cats offense looked Uber flat in the second half.
• The Badgers beat Western Kentucky. And nobody cared.
• Lastly, Minnesota started a walk-on QB with a name like an Austrian city and beat NM State. I have Fleck’d boogers that had more football tradition than New Mexico State.

Go Cats beat the Dukies.