Flubber-ooski

The Cats imploded in the fourth quarter with 4 turnover's costing them the game, after outplaying Michigan in the first half. Down's? Oops, the 6-6, 7-5, 8-4 season we counted on? Not happening. Sacks? Yea the other team made them. Ups? Omar Conteh, where did this guy come from. Villareal. He's the real thing...its other-worldly to see the Cats out-kick the opponent (Michigan missed two field goals). Weather. Holy cow it was nice, and I got to spend the day with special friends and old friends. And we mostly ignored the Knob Creek and escaped with our gastro-intestinal fortitude intact.

Next up is the Golden Gophers (in Minneapolis) who got pasted by OSU, altho the Gophers looked less embarrassed by OSU than the Cats did.

MoveOnRightNow.org

Let's all just move on and forget all about the game that is not to be mentioned. We stunk, we got killed, and worst of all the Fishhead's prediction of 12-0 which became 11-1 has now become 10-2.

Since we can't discuss the game which is not to be mentioned, let's waste some time looking at past and future opponents.

The Cats opened their season with an easy win over 1-AA Northeastern. Northeastern, apparently demoralized, promptly dropped two of their next three games, routed by Richmond (?) and Cal-Davis, but sneaking in a big win over Northwestern State. Yes, you read it here first, in one season Northeastern lost to Northwestern, but beat Northwestern State. Now how many people reading the paper figure that Northwestern and Northwestern State are in the same state?

Next, the Cardiac Cats pulled one out at the last second over the Nevada Wolfpack. Nevada, fresh off a pummelling by Nebraska (lol Ball State showed us how horrific a loss that truly was), slunk out of Dyche with an 0-2 record. The Wolfpack's bowl hopes were revived the next week, as they crushed Nicholls State. Nevada can even its record next weekend when it faces in-state rival UNLV.

Next next, the Cats stunk it up against Duke. The Blue Devils came into the game holding the longest losing streak in 1A ball, and the Fishhead predicted a stinker of a rout. But the Cats rolled over dead and the Dukies escaped with a big win. Perhaps we can pretend this was less pathetic than it seemed, as Duke subsequently showed signs of actual skill by hanging tough against a decent Navy squad. Or, we can wallow in evil thoughts as we savor the thought of Duke's next game against the thugs of Miami (FL).

Which brings us to the game which we will not mention. Played at the "shoe", which btw after the megabucks renovations, looks nothing like its eponymous equine footwear, this looked like a match between the Chicago Bears and the Benet Redwings. It was quite simply a ludicrous mismatch for the ages. The Buckeyes poor performance against the fearsome Akron Zips had given the Fishhead some vague hope, which was quickly extinguished as OSU scored TDs on its first three possessions and then promptly installed the fifth string which proceeded to score another 40 or so points. So its a good thing we are not mentioning this one. Ever again. Except for the 99-yard TD return which despite sloppy tackling was still pretty exciting. It should be interesting to see how Minnesota and Purdue make out against the Buckeyes during the next two weeks.

Future games? Oh, yes indeedy despite wishing the season was over after the game we shall not mention, it continues on against the Michigan Wolverines. Two weeks ago I was thinking Michigan was an easy W, but no more. After pummelling the hapless, hopeless Irish (google on FireCharlieWeis.com), the Wolverines continued to look better by beating the Mummy's squad 14-9. Tough defense, a strong running game, and a quarterback whose arm has not been amputated, will spell trouble for the Cats. Remember the big loss to Appalachian State? Well the Mountaineers followed up with two more wins, but then spoiled their Cinderalla season by losing to the Wofford Terriers (I did not make that name up).

Should I keep going? Lessee....Michigan State, they are 4-0 after beating a few patsies like Notre Dame and Pitt (take that, Wanny!). Minnesota? The Gophers are 1-3, with only a win over Miami (OH) marring their perfect record. Speaking of Kevin Bacon, Minnesota beat Miami (OH) who beat Ball State who almost beat Nebraska. The Gophers will get a beating from OSU and then face a coin toss at somewhat-improved Indiana before facing the Cats.

And that brings us to the Eastern Michigan game, everyone's scheduled W, and as far as I can stand to type. The game will be played at Ford Field in Detroit on a Friday night, and the saving grace will be the crack we smoke and the brown paper bags we wear over our heads during the game.

And hey Pat. Anytime you want to....I dunno, get the team fired up and ready to play? That would be great.

Oh the Stench...

Which emits from the rotting corpse of the NU football program. Oops, no that's for the Notre Dame blog. But yes, there was a stanky stench arising from Dyche stadium, just as predicted. The game stunk and the team stunk, but unfortunately the stinkers were the Wildcats not the Blue Devils. Link here for a vivid description of the extent of the stankery. Personally I hope never to smell anything like that ever again....so maybe its a good thing the OSU game is in Columbus and I am not!

3-0 is 1/4 of 12-0

Let's be honest about it, Coach K's team stinks. Its as simple as that, and 3-0 is guaranteed. Don't read the line, don't read the paper, they stink and it will be a rout. The Fishhead's plan is to get plenty drunk during the tailgate so that he is oblivious to the vast stinkery coming from the game. The highlight might be the first opportunity to see the real band play!

Cardiac Cats are Back

Or at least, so says the headline on the NU sports site. Personally, I did not feel any heart palpitations, but I'll admit to laughing uproariously at the looks on the faces of the Nevada fans. NU initially blew the game by failing to notch a first down needing only one yard in two plays, then got the ball back with one minute to go and drove the length of the field to win. The Nevada fans went from huge, noisy celebration to stunned silence in the space of one minute...you can only imagine the painful flight home, crammed in coach on US Airways in a middle seat with fat people on each side, the seat in front reclining into your forehead, and the knowledge that your team is 0-2, your season is wrecked, and you burned your Mileage Plus points for the priviledge of watching your team go down in flames. Have a nice year, Wolfpack fans!

Ups and downs from the game.

Down: Bacher missed so many timing routes, it was hard to fathom. Either he or Ross Lane or both, had inner ear problems in the first half.

Up: Bacher reminded me of Zak Kustok, the way he performed on the winning drive. There was simply no way he was letting the Cats lose.

Down: Both lines played poorly in my opinion. After Nebraska piled up like 1700 yards rushing on the Wolfpack, the Cats should have done better with the rush. And the Wolfpack QB hit so many sideline outs that I thought maybe the Cats D-line thought the coach said Schlitz.

Up: Kudos to Brandon Roberson who had one monster run and a TD.

Down: Attendance. Down, down, down. The Fishhead and his guppie brother felt lonely all alone in the stands with hardly an alum in sight.

Down: Coverage by the secondary. Sometimes you have to take a chance and actually cover the receiver as opposed to waiting for the opportunity to tackle him.

Next up...the Duke Blue Devils...and remember, 12-0 Here We Come!

Huh?

Here is the existential question that we must all ponder this week:

Is it somehow possible for both the inept Wolverines, and the equally inept Fighting Irish, to both start their season 0-3?

Yes, I know they are both 0-2 and their next game is against each other. But they are both so frightfully bad...that somehow I think it might be possible!

Nevada game

Next up for the Cats is the Nevada Wolfpack, said Wolfpack having received a serious beating from the Huskers last week, 52-10. Emotions should be running high for this game. Poorly coached teams are demoralized by a big loss, but Ault will have the Wolfpack fired up and looking to prove they are no patsy; and Fitz will have the Cats looking to avenge last year's painful loss to Nevada.

Click here and here to read the alumni pundits predictions for the game, with the official line being Cats giving 10 points.

If the Cats offensive and defensive lines improve from last week's poor performances, look for the Cats to pile up big yards and points and really stick it to the Wolfpack.

ouchie poo

For your enjoyment, replays of the Michigan fiasco:

First, the radio guy has a cardiac.

Next, video of the denouement:

One liners on other action

Jim Harbaugh, ex-Bear, made an inauspicious debut at Stanford, with the Cardinal getting clobbered by the UCLAn's 45-17. Welcome to the big leagues, Jim.

Adios Michigan, and adios Lloyd Carr. Michigan pulled the flop of the century by getting beat by their selected creampuff, Appalachian State. We'll see you guys in a couple weeks and you will find out how to lose both big and bad. Anyone remember Anthony Thomas's famous fumble and the 54-51 beating we put on them a few years ago?

Thank god Joe Mummy I mean Paterno is back.

I Google'd for FireTimBrewster.com today. Amazingly Gopher fans have not got the site up yet. Good luck with Mike Dunbar, ex-Cat coach running the offense.

Thank you Bill Callahan for the scouting report on the Wolf Pack for next week's game.

Maybe Charlie Weis is not the genius he has been made out to be. Considering all the fuss made about selecting the starting QB, it seems he didn't make up his mind at all since he played all 3, and his alleged starter was the worst of the 3; and they got pasted bad. Wait'll Weis pulls a Barnett and leaves for the pro's!

12-0 Here we come!

The Cats beat beat up on that other NU, Northeastern, thrashing the Huskies 27-0. Click here for the HailtoPurple analysis (those guys really work hard on the details). For me, the game left me both encouraged and concerned. Encouraged, because 1-0 is better than 0-1. Encouraged, because Bacher looked poised and effective, throwing the ball accurately and only making one poor decision in the game. Encouraged because the receivers looked good, especially previously un-heralded Jeff Yarbrough who had a big game. Encouraged, because the kicking game, led by Stefan Demos, looked much improved including the previously unseen ability to kickoff into the endzone.

Discouraged? Yea, because Northeastern is not Michigan. Oops, Northeastern is not Wisconsin. And the Huskies did pile up 260 yards and drove into NU territory regularly. Shutout? Sure, that's do-able when the opponent's kicker is so bad that they give up trying even chipshots (the Huskies missed two easy ones). Discouraged, because the defense recorded zero sacks and to be honest I can't even recall seeing a Cat in the Huskie's backfield. The secondary did look improved, but if they let a good quarterback sit back there all day...it will be a long year.

So overall, cautiously optimistic and 12-0 here we come!

Now that we talked football, let's move onto the important stuff. The tailgating was great, with sunny, mild conditions. The FishHead partied in the West lot, focusing on the Knob Creek, incredibly bad melon ball test tube shots, and Miller Chill's. Tom the Chef prepared egg sandwiches with bacon, followed by hamburgers. Tip to the Public: Don't let the sushi sit out in the sun for a later snack...that seaweed wrapper stuff is revolting in reverse. After the game, we wrapped the day at Ubaa's on Crawford where amazingly the bartender was studying Physics which we dutifully helped her with.