I am outside on my deck because...

Its three A.M. Emergency at work. Need to make a call on my Blackberry. So I have to go out on my deck in the backyard, in the dark, where I could be eaten by a bear. Why am I doing this? Because I have crappy Sprint cell service, and I don't get any damn reception inside my house.

Now you might think that Sprint could I dunno, maybe add a cell tower or two? After all, I am not living in the uninhabited desert (hey no bears there tho), I am surrounded by 7 million inhabitants in the Chicago metro area. Yea, I don't like all 7 million of those people, but still you would think Mr. Sprint could spring for some more towers.

Instead, they are going to coerce me into buying an Airave. As best I can decipher, this $100 gizmo turns your house into a mini-cell tower, intercepts your cell phone signal, and routes it VOIP over your broadband connection.

Huh?

Let's do the math here. At an earlier time in my life, I decided to purchase Sprint phones and service. Maybe I was drunk at the time (see scotch entries on this blog), but I think I made that purchase with the intent to make phone calls. And when I purchase things, I expect them to work, yes I am crazy that way.

And Sprint does work. It just expects you to move yourself to a location where the phone works. Its called a mobile phone, and Sprint figures you should mobilize yourself to a spot where it works. Get it? Got it.

So its my math versus theirs. They could add a couple cell towers, which informed sources tell me might cost roughly $250K per. Or, I pay them $100 to turn my house into a mini-cell tower. Get it? Instead of them spending $500K to make their network do what they already claim it does, they get me to GIVE THEM $100 to make their network work. Are you sensing the sick evil genius at work here? Not yet? Let's keep going.

After I pay them the $100 to make their network work, I get to pay them an additional $30 per month to make calls over the now-working network. That's not $30 for cell service, its $30 per month OVER AND ABOVE the cell service you already pay for.

Still not sensing the evil genius? Let's keep going. The cell calls you make over the mini-tower you paid $100 for along with the $30 per month usage charge, DON'T EVEN TRAVERSE THE CELL NETWORK. Yep, they get routed over your broadband connection! Yes, that broadband connection which you paid Comcast $45 per month for.

So....I am guessing you now see the evil genius at work in Sprint's plan. Their service blows, so you pay them $100 upfront and $30 per month to make it work, and then it works only because you already paid Comcast $45 per month.

Why would anyone purchase this insane solution? Since the calls get routed by VOIP anyway, how about you get a Skype account for $30 per year, buy a cheap Skype phone for $50, and call it a day?