Weather

The weather in Chicago today: Partly sunny, -1 Farenheit, 35 mile-per-hour winds, windchill of -24 Farenheit.

The weather in Mesa today: Partly sunny, +48 Farenheit, windchill of +44 Farenheit.

A bad omen

In his previous position, neophyte head coach Pat Fitzgerald was also the recruiting coordinator for the Wildcats. Maybe he needs to go back to that, as the recruiting rankings issued today show the Cats tied for 72nd (with Troy!). Big Ten teams that did worse? Indiana. Yea, that's it, our recruiting class was second-to-last in the conference. And no, that does not make me feel good about burning a bunch of dough on season tickets. Click a link or two and venture over to Hail to Purple to see if they are more optimistic...but look at it this way. Would you prefer to have a good record or a good recruiting class? We know which Charlie Weis has!

Busted

Detective Pescado Cabeza reports that the Clarendon Hills police have apprehended the notorious two-bit gambling criminal known as The Commish. The booking picture is particularly embarrassing but there it is.

What people do on the Internet

Ever wonder what people spend so many hours doing on the Internet? Of course I can only answer that from my limited perspective. For me, I read the Scotch blog, order cigars, surf for porn, and of course read the sports. My kids do AIM, My Space, and surf for porn. What do other people do? Well....all I can tell you is what I see in my hit counter. Here is what people have recently google'd which caused them to land at Fish Head.

As you can see, my reference to the literary giant Dick, yielded many hits. Now what does this mean? Is Mr. Dick's work (and his freaky android head) really that popular? Or is it more likely that dickbot is code word for some porno stuff? Let's keep going. What might you guess was being searched for by the lonely soul who google'd on "purdue coeds"? Dude, I've been to Purdue games and they are not really very cute. And what freak searched for "toxoplasmosis libido"?

This could go on and on. Darts anyone? Who associates darts with porn? Apparently the British do, as after casually mentioning darts in a post, Fish Head was repeatedly hit from various UK locations with various and sundry hits searching on darts.

Lastly, we have the browser challenged individual who apparently doesn't understand what a bookmark is, and is thus forced to repetitively find my blog by searching on "fishheadonastick". Maybe he could buy a copy of Internet for Dummies and learn how to use a browser.

This was absolutely not mine!

Because of course I would get the one with the long lasting batteries :-)

Yellow submarine ?

I finished the very excellent bottle of Highland Park which I bought a few weeks ago (at least I hope it was at least a few weeks ago!). I was very impressed by its smooth but somewhat biting taste.

My next choice is the somewhat oddly marketed Bruichladdich. No, I can't pronounce that, and no, I am pretty sure I don't completely follow the connection between this Scotch and WMD, nor its connection to submarines. But its supposed to be excellent, and you can read about the weird connections here.

The ultimate IT worker insult

"Your mother was a DBA"

Flame on!

The Fish Head ventured downtown into the big city to see the UIC Flames beat the Detroit Mercy Titans, 75-65. Despite 35 points from "ugly" point guard Jon Goode, the Titans couldn't keep up with the bigger Flames.

The Fish Head's brother, a UIC alum, contributed the tickets and a pass to the Dragon's Den, the VIP room where the Fish Head quaffed Blue Moons and ate roast beef with horse radish. And the Fish Head's daughter, a UIC student, was a first-time attendee. And lastly, the Fish Head ran into a rarely seen co-worker from the past, who happens to have season tickets to the UIC games.

We closed the nite with beers and octupus in Greek Town, which is a short drive from the UIC campus.

Dickbot

No, Dickbot does not refer to either of my brothers. Dickbot refers to the crazy robotic android head of Philip K. Dick. When I was younger, I was a voracious reader of sci fi, and occassionally read a story by the prolific Dick, whose works were later turned into famous sci-fi films such as Blade Runner. Recently, I stumbled across a copy of perhaps his finest work, The Man in the High Castle, and reading it renewed my interest in his work.

While researching other works by Mr. Dick, I stumbled upon internet articles about the Dickbot, an android head of Mr. Dick, which was recently stolen (!) and has not been recovered. Link here for more info, if you don't believe me.

Glasses

I got a set of scotch glasses for Xmas. Now you might ask, what is a scotch glass, exactly? My preference is to drink my scotch from a small, solid glass tumbler. Of which I own two of unknown provenance. The Santa-provided version are a little odd, rounded and a bit large, and apparently the elves figured if they spray-painted "Scotch" on the sides, it was a winner.

Oh, the resulting dilemma. What to put into these new glasses? Certainly not the chintzy Black provided by that two-bit grifter, the Commish. So I splurged today and bought a bottle of Highland Park, which the whiskipedia crowd is high on. I'll post a word or two later (might be later tonite) after I finish the bottle.

633 is the Sign of the Devil

No wait, that's 666. What is 633? Oh yea, that's the record number of yards of offense that USC piled up while routing the Illini in the Rose Bowl. While USC and its fans claimed the game showed USC is playing the best ball in the land, what the game really showed was the Illini are not very good, as they turned the ball over 4 times. Maybe Zook needs to play Cubbie and wait till next year.

Luddites should not use 0000

I have a special friend who I kiddingly refer to as a luddite. She is about as technology-averse as they come, but she recently made a venture into hi-tech land by purchasing a bluetooth headset. Little did she know that freaky Linux weirdos will now be hijacking her calls, injecting porn sounds into her private messages, and perpetrating other similar crazy acts upon her communications. Can you imagine being in the middle of ordering your triple vente carmellacio, and suddenly your Blackberry speakerphone begins propositioning the barista?

This just in...

According to the Clarendon Hills Gazette, local police have issued an arrest warrant for a local small-time con man, who uses the moniker "the Commish". The Commish is accused of operating rigged, illegal betting pools designed to rip off honest sports fans. Detective Pescado Cabeza of the Clarendon Hills Police Department released the attached artist sketch and vowed that the force would track down this sleazy two-bit criminal.

Two dead soldiers

Yea, yea, spare me the bunko about drinking too much. My theory is the booze is a cheaper preservative than formaldehyde, and its self-serve too.

I finished the Laphroaig first, and the JW was a fast follower. I found the Laphroaig to have a very strong, earthy taste. Skilled reviewers have described the taste as peaty, but I have never eaten any peat, so I will stick with earthy. Regardless, it was excellent as long as you like a strong taste. The Johnnie Walker Blue was a gift (free booze is always best) from my old team at work (thanks guys!). In my humble, non-expert opinion, JW Blue is the best scotch made, or at least the best this blogger has ever guzzled.

Unfortunately, I will now take a step down in my drinking habits. Being the cheap bastard that I am, I was counting on Xmas gifts to re-stock my booze levels, but all I got for Christmas was a lone bottle of JW Black, which hardly compares to the Blue. Life sucks when you have cheap relatives!

hypocrisy rant

Normally the Fish Head only writes about booze, football, cigars, and the occassional weird oddity that catches his attention on the Internet. Politics, religion, or any serious or controversial topic, might be of interest, but of the private kind, not the public kind.

In recent years, the Fish Head has lost interest in professional sports due to the many and sundry forms of hypocrisy exhibited by the players. Its hard to be interested in a game when the players are making millions of dollars and at the same time bitch and moan about their salaries, demand more, and don't play hard. Why would the Fish Head pay $100 for a ticket to watch a gaggle of grossly over-paid greedy prima donnas pretend to go all-out?

Today the Fish Head learned that hypocrisy is not just a sports phenomena. While reading the week's snail mail, the Fish Head stumbled across People Magazine, which featured a quite unflattering picture of celeb Jennifer Love Hewitt. Miss Hewitt was enraged by the fact that the media was taunting and dissing her for having put on a few extra pounds. Why was she enraged? Well of course, because the public's attitude towards her, would engender unhealthy body images in the minds of young girls.

Hmmmm....lessee. Normally the Fish Head might agree with this concept, being generally supportive of women, and also generally supportive of women being naked in his presence and feeling comfortable about it. But....isn't this the same Hewitt who has, in large part, become rich and famous by flaunting her supra-natural figure in lingerie on the covers of Maxim, FHM, and various other skin mags? Yes, the same Hewitt. So when she was earning a rich living, in part by selling the viewing of her un-naturally perfect body, that was cool with her and wouldn't have engendered any body image issues for other women who could never look that insanely perfect. But now that her figure is merely nice and natural, any commentary on the change or focus on her appearance might damage the psyche of the female population.

You can look it up for yourself, but the definition is "Hypocrisy is the act of condemning another person for an act of which the critic is guilty". And the Fish Head judges Miss Hewitt's reaction as the most obvious form of it.

Google to the rescue

Fish Head googled on "Tampa Steak" and 1,230,000 hits later, found paydirt. Bern's Steak House is (or at least it was many years ago) the best steak joint in the city. The upstairs dessert room has kitschy little booths that make the visit well worthwhile.

Ybor City

Fish Head's brother Pat, whose advancing age has seriously dulled his never-all-that-sharp knife edge, nevertheless came up with the name of the party district in Tampa. Ybor City was a totally great place to party back in the early 90's when I visited, although it sounds like the local government has been striving to tone it down a notch.

Now if someone could only come up with the name of that steak joint...

Personnel changes

Northwestern Athletic Director Mark Murphy is leaving the University to become CEO of the Green Bay Packers. Murphy, who has NFL playing experience, was well-respected at the school which has enjoyed considerable success in several sports over the last few years. The Tribune gave the story an entire column on the back page of the sports section.

Hidden away inside the sports section, in a tiny little paragraph, was far bigger news. Greg Colby, defensive coordinator, will not return for 2008. Head coach Fitzgerald, himself once a star linebacker at NU, couldn't have been pleased with the defense's performance this year. Removing Colby is a good first step, and we'll have to wait and see who Fitz picks as the replacement. Tip: Get someone who understands the words "pass rush" and "blitz".

Road trip options

Bowls are great for road trips. In past years, the Fish Head has been to the Orange Bowl, the Rose Bowl, the Alamo Bowl, and the Motor City Bowl. My alma mater choked away its season and bowl chances, but the great thing about college football is you can always come up with an excuse for a road trip. Purdue? I drove past there on I-65 a few times. Michigan State? I went to a game there once. Indiana? I was born in Hammond. Wisconsin? I eat cheese sometimes. Ohio State? I think I ate a buckeye one Christmas.

So let's walk thru these games in order and rate them on their potential for a road trip.

As discussed in other entries in this blog, the Motor City is a nice road trip. While Detroit gets a bad rap for its general miserable economic condition, there is an approximately 4-square block section of downtown that's nice. Jacoby's, Greektown, the casino, and a profusion of bars make for a great time. Throw in a mini-bar and you are sure to have a blast.

The Champs Bowl is a mystery to me. What or who sponsors this one? And who in their right mind would go to Orlando for a bowl game? Take a pass on the Champs.

The Alamo Bowl is likely the best party time of any bowl. Get a hotel right on the riverwalk, and the odds of leaving San Antonio with a live liver are slim. Visit the martini bar, the cigar bar, the Hooters, and keep right on going down the list of bars. The Fish Head likes bars, and for a short break you can visit the actual Alamo which is smack dab in downtown San Antonio. And hey the Alamo Dome is nice too.

The Fish Head doesn't know anything about the Insight Bowl, but its a safe prediction that a college town loaded with hot coeds and bars can't be all bad. But Oklahoma against Indiana? Who dreamed up this match?

The Outback Bowl is named after a steak joint and is played in a town whose only claims to fame are stripper joints and cigars. Which is pretty close to perfect for a road trip - Mons Venus anyone? I vaguely recall an excellent party area in Tampa, in an old warehouse district; but apparently I was so drunk at the time that I can't remember the name of the district. And there's a great steak joint in town with a nifty dessert and smoking room upstairs, whose name I also can't remember. Maybe they have amnesia in the water.

Capital One. Deja vu in Orlando. Skip it. Altho the opportunity to see Tim Tebow destroy the Wolverines sounds good.

The Rose Bowl is in Pasadena. Which is in California. Which is full of weirdos and Democrats. No attraction here, except the possibility of seeing USC get pummelled. Which in retrospect, makes the weirdos and Democrats tolerable. But can you trust the Illini to pull it off?

The BCS title game is played in New Orleans. I've never been, but its a legendary party city and this is the biggest game of them all. A little jazz, a little spicy food, some booze, and a great football game. Oh, and Ohio State getting slaughtered. Perfect!

Big Ten bowls

On November 22, I posted my and CBS's predictions for the likely Big Ten bowl line-up. And then we had two weekends of upsets, chokes, fades, and generally vomitous play by the top teams. And the equally vomitous but inactive Big Ten leaders, OSU and Illinois, benefited greatly from the churn.

OSU has snuck upwards thru the muck to the title game; and Illinois pass/fail'd its way from the Capital One to the Rose. Hey, if you can't succeed on your own merits, the next best thing is to succeed on the failures of others!

The other lucky son of a buck is Purdue, which was on the bubble. The extra BCS game (Illinois) for the Big Ten opened a spot and Purdue snuck into the ever-prestigious Motor City Bowl. Which so happens to be a great place to spend the day after Xmas!